Recurring Dreams

Sometimes, just after I wake up... a thought just hits me
It's so random and out of the blue
And I get really puzzled and question myself
Like throughout my entire existence, why haven't I given it a thought before?
For instance, I walked down the stairs and saw a note on the table
And I don't know which is more shocking and unbelievable...
My dad spelled my younger brother's name wrongly or
That my younger brother has an English name and I don't?
They're things that you've never questioned yourself because it just happened
It just happened and it went unnoticed because you accept the fact and that made it look so normal
But the mind works in strange ways
Because facts like these never go unnoticed and it comes back to bite you in the arse eventually
It could be months, years, decades later but it'll happen
And then we arrive where I am now, questioning why did it happen?
It's kind of funny and comical when you think of it
But it's also unnerving when you find that, you don't actually have the answer
And surprisingly, I find that I welcome these thoughts
It can be scary at times, but it makes me think of my existence
It has happened to me quite a few times but this is the first time I'm actually putting it down in words
Because it's not something that can be explained in words alone
A few years back, I woke up questioning myself that I have a little brother of how many years old
And I told myself that yes, I do in fact have a little brother
The only thing I don't understand is... why these questions... why now?
It's kind of scary and shocking in a way that it's usually about simple things that happened in your life
Things that go in and out of your life and you just took it all in without a question
I would've never expected that, I see my younger brother everyday and I used to be so close to him
We used to play together and watch cartoons together and even share some similar interests
He would come into my room and mess up my things and I would do girly stuffs on him
And it's all just gonna be a memory because he's growing up now
What exactly triggered these thoughts?
Could it be because I missed those moments?
I don't know... like I said, I don't have the answer